Feeling so homesick and lost

I’m only 19 and I had the dumb idea of going to Europe for 2 months using my savings . I flew into Amsterdam because it was a lot cheaper only to find that my parents had united airlines miles they never used that I could have used to fly in for free. So I spent $1k I didn’t need to. That’s fine, I was budgeting for the flight already. Then at the airport I found out that the Netherlands requires you to have a return flight booked already, so I frantically booked one through Expedia knowing that they have a 24-hour cancel policy. But in my hurry I booked a non refundable flight from Amsterdam to the US, which I can’t even reschedule . So I’m out another $650 for nothing. But whatever, I can cope. I payed for the wrong tram ticket and spent $60 on a day pass I couldn’t even use to get to my hostel When I got there, hostel in Amsterdam was nearly $100 a night but I figured it’s only for 3 nights so it’s okay. Then I’ll head into Brussels and Eastern Europe/the Balkans, where I can afford much more. That’s what I’m doing tomorrow- taking FlixBux to Brussels where my hostel is $50 for two nights.

However, I now find that many hostels I should have booked in advance instead of taking the advice to be more spontaneous and book a few nights ahead, because it is much more expensive than I expected per night. I think my budget is way off but I don’t know how to fix it. And I’m useless with public transport and have such anxiety over getting it right. Now I find out that the Balkans have such terrible transport I wonder how I will even survive.

I just feel so stupid and useless. I feel like I’m bleeding money the longer I stay here, and I just want to cut my losses and go home. I told my family about my trip and they were so supportive and I would hate to come home after two weeks, having spent $400 on gear and around $3000+ on the mostly poorly planned and budgeted trip ever. I think about what I spent my money and time on here and what I could’ve done instead, I just feel so bad. I don’t even want to stick it out for 2 days let alone 2 weeks or months.

I’ve been crying so often for the past few days. Please I could just use some kind words or advice.

Feeling so homesick and lost